WARNING: Living overseas touches everything!!!

After some very positive posts, I thought I would share the 'other reality' of moving between cultures. Perhaps it goes without saying, but we are learning that having lived overseas for 2.5 years touches every facet of our lives.

When we were still in Minnesota, I reconnected with a mom at the French Immersion elementary school that I had known when we were there before.  She had lived in Madagascar as a missionary with the Lutheran church for 9 years.  As we chatted and I explained our return from France, she warned me, "It will take a while to get your head back in the USA."

I dared to ask the question, "How long will it take?"

She answered based on her own experience, "It took 3 years for me."

UGH!!!!!

This was not the answer I wanted to hear!

And, of course, (probably like everybody else in this situation) I was certain that my story would be different.

After all, she lived overseas for 9 years, we only lived overseas 2.5 years.

Certainly it doesn't take 3 years to readjust to your own home!?!?!  Right?

Well, I'll have to keep you posted on how long it takes for me.  All I know, is that I am not there yet.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am thrilled beyond belief to be here.

I love so much about life here - being near family, our new home, our new neighborhood, the kids schools, our new church, and Mark loving his job so very, very much is absolutely a huge blessing in our lives.

Yet, at the same time, that sense of 'my insides being caught up with the outside world' has not really arrived yet.

When we first answered the call to missions, I knew it was a huge decision.  But, I didn't really comprehend HOW huge it would be.

Moving overseas and then moving back touches everything.  Literally everything.  I find myself searching for things it hasn't touched, but I haven't yet.

I fill so much of my time working to 'change life back' to what it once was.

It is absolutely daunting re-purchasing everything we sold or gave away in order to move to France.  Ladders, hoses, tools, lawn mower, vacuum, sprinklers, lamps, spices, file cabinets, everything that plugs into the wall anywhere in the house (alarm clocks, kitchen appliances) and on and on it goes.

The repeatedly high totals at Lowe's can get down-right depressing.  I have forced myself to think of the specific people we knew in France and got to share truth with each time I go to Lowe's.  It IS ALL WORTH it for them!  But, as the cash register cha-chings away, sometimes it is just downright a battle to keep all my thinking straight.

And then there are the projects.  Our entire filing system had to be re-done to fit the American way of life again.

We had to compress our stuff into the smallest space possible in order to move back, so everything in the 'toy' category got put into Ziplock bags and stuffed into bins and boxes.  The kids' closets are an organizational nightmare!  And, it's even worse when they decide to play with something!  No, no, no...don't do that!!!!  Let's just say, they are not very keen on putting things back into Ziplock bags.  But, how can I blame them?  I would leave everything laying on the floor too, if all my stuff was in Ziplock bags.

The little pieces of furniture that could conveniently hold things like table linens, games, piano music or library books that we owned in the USA before we moved, and then owned in France but got rid of to move back are seriously lacking.  Eventually, we need to re-find and repurchase those things. 

UGH!!!  Truth be told, I am tired of trying to fix our life so that it functions the way it did in our other homes.  I am sick and tired of re-buying things that I bought in the USA, then bought in France, and that I need to buy yet again in the USA!!!!  UGH!!!!  I am sick of shopping!!!!!

See what I mean?  Moving overseas touches everything!!!!

Not only has it touched our entire lives as a family in our home, but it has touched our children's lives in unexpected ways as well.

For some ridiculous reason, our two oldest children were arguing about how many different types of triangles there are.  (Such a fruitful disagreement, huh!)  They didn't even know that their argument was half in English and half in French.

It struck me, they don't know lots of things in English that they know in French.  This year is going to be another big year of learning for them.  They have only, ever studied math in French.  As we were meeting each of their math teachers in their new schools, we are explaining, "They know a great deal of math, but they may or may not know how to explain what they know in English.  They need to learn the English vocabulary and begin to connect the dots to their knowledge in French."

Thankfully, kids are rather flexible, and they will learn fast. 

Here's another thing.  Lena has been scared to death to go to a new school.   I have wondered why.  Is it her personality?  I do recognize that nobody likes to start as the new kids in a school, but this fear seemed almost irrational.  Until I remembered what school was like for her in France.

School was hard.  School was NOT fun (expect for being with friends, which was the only fun part).  School was teachers yelling at you...or the kids around you.  School was loads and loads of insane rules that don't always makes sense - you just have to follow them.  School means you don't miss a beat or step out of line for a millisecond or you are toast --- your entire future could be altered if you mess up, and the teachers will remind you of that more and more as you climb grades in the school system there.  Mind you, the education level is very good, but the environment is not really very positive.

As school has begun, I can see the joy on all 3 of the kids' faces.  Teachers are nice.  Teachers don't yell.  The environment is so encouraging.  The hallways are colorful and positive.  The other kids are relaxed versus stressed out.

On top of that, all the systems around school are different.

Backpacks are used differently. 

No one uses a trouse/pencil pouch here.

Most of the writing is in pencil here.  In 1st grade in France, Todd was required to write in cursive with a PEN by the 2nd month of school!  He's re-learning how to write the English way.  It is so hard to see him concentrating so hard to make his letters big enough to touch the bottom solid line, the middle dotted line and the top solid line - the letters need to be so HUGE in comparison to before!

Lena's math teacher explained this week that any math homework done in pen would receive a zero.  But, in France, her math teacher had explained that any math work done in pencil would get a zero.

We went to the pool at the Indiana Wesleyan pool and there was a prominent sign posted:  no speedos.  The pools we swam in in France had a sign posted:  no swim trunks.

Honestly, I could go on and on and on and on if I wanted to.  But, I know this will get very boring fast.

This is the funny thing.  I want to live here, in Marion, Indiana 100%.  But, it's hard to live here 100% when my mind is still remembering how different life was just 5.5 months ago when we lived in France, and when my everyday life is still full of the adjusting that continues day after day. 

This is my fear:  will it take 3 years like my friend in MN said?   I really hope not.

I have to be patient. 

I have to trust it will come, in time.

But, here's one super positive thing about our adjustment here.  Even though we lived in a very wealthy part of Paris in an apartment that is worth well over ONE MILLION dollars to purchase, our kids cannot get over how great it is to live in America.

My 7, 10 and 12 year old kids still say on nearly a daily basis, "it is just so great living in America!"  They say things like, "I love this neighborhood" and "isn't our yard the best" and "can you believe I get to play volleyball on a team?" and "Mom, when is my next baseball practice - I love baseball" and stuff like that.

Have you ever found yourself saying things like this to your kids, "You have no idea how good you have it.  Kids in most parts of the world don't get to....(fill in the blank)."  Perhaps you have, and then your kids look at you like you are some kind of alien.

Well, we don't have to say that to our kids.  They totally understand how different life can be.  And, their lives in Paris were honestly pretty great.  But, nothing compares to life in America.  This is a great country.

We have space.  We have incredible wealth.  We have opportunities galore.   Bathrooms are clean.  Stuff doesn't cost an arm and a leg here.  We just have so, so, so, very much!!!

I am so thankful for how our kids really understand that and cherish being here.

And, so, I know in the long run, all of this will be very worth it.  In time, we will all totally adjust.  Even though the adjustment back to the USA is not terribly easy, the positives of living overseas still far outweighs any discomfort at this time of life.   And so, I will trust the Lord, try desperately to be patient, and wait for all my insides to catch up to the outside world.

In time, in time, in time it WILL come.  Right!?!?!!!